


Staying Behind With You (Bellarke)

by bellamysgun



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Bellamy Has Feelings, Bellarke AU Week, Bellarke Fic Week, Bellarke Week, Endgame Bellamy Blake/Clarke Griffin, F/M, Princess Clarke, Protective Bellamy, Protective Clarke, Slow Burn Bellamy Blake/Clarke Griffin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-09
Updated: 2018-08-12
Packaged: 2019-06-24 14:53:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 24
Words: 19,821
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15632955
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bellamysgun/pseuds/bellamysgun
Summary: What if Bellamy became a nightblood and stayed with Clarke during praimfaya?





	1. Chapter 1

''Come on, Clarke.''

Bellamy begs, speaking more to himself than to whoever is listening. He knows Clarke is capable of doing this and coming back in time, he knows she can do anything, he has hope in her. He knows he can wait a few more minutes for her. He knows he isn't going to let her die, he isn't going to leave her behind.

''Bellamy.''

Raven appears from inside of the rocket, warning him that they don't have much time left.

''I know, Raven.''

Bellamy knows that he can't leave Clarke behind as much as he knows that if he waits any longer, they could all possibly die in vain.

''The radiation's already affecting the avionics. It's now or never.''

Raven warns him one more time.

Bellamy remembers the talk he had with Clarke earlier. She told him to listen to his head more often, to not make choices with his heart all the time. He looked Raven in the eyes, that dark brown eyes begging for him to leave so they could all survive.

He knew he had to make a choice. The only choice, though, was leaving with Raven and the others... as his head kept repeating and repeating.

Bellamy was ready to enter the rocket and leave everything behind.

''Bellamy? Bellamy we really don't have time-''

''Emori?'' Bellamy calls, completely ignoring Raven.

''Bellamy? What's wrong? Where's Clarke?''

''Emori, earlier Clarke told me about a nightblood serum that Abby was testing and...''

''Are you crazy?'' Emori screams. ''No way, you-''

''Guys, there's no time for chit-chat!''

''Raven, just, wait-'' Bellamy inhales. ''Emori, where is the serum?''

''Bellamy it won't work. We really don't have time, Raven's right-''

''Emori,'' Bellamy begs.

''It's upstairs. I don't know if this works, it would be crazy to use it.''

''We literally wasted four minutes. We're doing to die!'' Raven exclaims, laughing nervously. ''We're going to die.''

Bellamy breathed one last time before making the decision his heart was desiring.

''I will become a nightblood and I will stay until Clarke comes. You all will, however, go to space and stay there until it's safe to come down again.''

Murphy, Monty, Harper and Echo come out og the rocket, protesting against his words.

''I'm not listening to any of you.'' Bellamy says as he goes to the stairs that will lead him until the nightblood serum.

''You're crazy, completely out of your mind, dude.'' Murphy spits, trying to make him stay.

''Seriously Bellamy, you can't just-'' Monty interrupts himself. He wasn't ready to lose Bellamy, right after losing Jasper. It was too much.

''Go! Seriously! I won't let you die in vain!'' Bellamy shouts. He knows he wasted too much time.

''He's right, if we're doing this, it has to be now. Otherwise we will all die.'' Raven backs him up, noding at him.

They all look at each other, not convinced they should let Bellamy alone. For all they knew, Clarke could be dead by now.

''May we meet again.'' Bellamy shouts, smiling as he finds the serum.

''We will.'' Monty shouts back, being the last one entering the rocket.

 

Bellamy grabs the serum and injects it in his skin with his eyes closed, hoping it would work.

Hope. That's all he had. Hope for Clarke to come back quickly. Hope for the others to survive in space. Hope for the nightblood to work. Hope to survive praimfaya. Hope for Octavia and her new duty as commander.

Panicking, Bellamy injects other serum, and another. He doesn't know much about it, he doesn't know if he is supposed to inject a big amount or a small amount, or if he is even injecting it in the right way.

After injecting the fifth serum, he hears loud and strong footsteps. He rushes to the entrance seeing a weak Clarke colliding to the ground, her face was already damaged.

Bellamy, without thinking twice, jumps to Clarke, holding her into his arms, as if he was hiding her from praimfaya, so she wouldn't suffer more.

As he presses her body to his, with his hand protecting her head, he closes his eyes and waits until he hears an explosion.

______


	2. Chapter 2

''Bellamy''

Nothing.

''Bellamy..''

Everything was destroyed. Becca's laboratory, as much as it was prepared for this type of unfortunate events, was equally destroyed. Some parts remained untouched, although others were highly affected.

Bellamy and Clarke were under a metal table. He had his protective arms around her but slowly passed out, due to the fume that was entering the building.

''Bellamy, please,..''

Clarke was trying to wake him up for a while. Her face was still swollen and with some radiation burns, although it didn't hurt as much as it was hurting in the beginning. Her eyes were watery, she couldn't believe Bellamy was stupid enough to stay with her, knowing that he probably wouldn't survive.

''Damn it Bellamy, you're not even a nightblood..''

She kept talking and talking, hoping he would wake up, while her head was pressed to his chest. She tried to hear his heartbeat, but nothing happened. She tried to be reasonable, she didn't want to believe he was really dead because of her, so she tried to believe that she couldn't hear it because of all the noise outside.

''Why would you do this? Why didn't go with them?''

Clarke was angry. She had this conversation with him before. She told him to stop listening to his heart no matter how much he wanted to. She told him to make rational decisions, for the sake of everyone.

''Why do you keep treating me as if I need to be protected? Here you are,''

She lets a weak laugh escape.

''Here you are, hugging me... like you could protect me from this.''

Clarke lifts her head up, looking at his face. He looked calm, like an angel. She tried to believe he was just sleeping, taking a nap, because it was such a tiring day. She didn't want to believe he was dead.

''Don't. Don't do this to me. You aren't selfish. You always do everything to protect everyone. So don't you dare-''

Tears start rolling down her face.

''Don't you dare leave me, Bellamy. I won't let you.''

With this being said, Clarke removes his strong hands from her body and even with injuries, she tries to get up. She looks around her. Pieces are everywhere. Becca's laboratory wasn't even considered a laboratory anymore. It doesn't have a roof anymore, it hardly has walls. Just some tables remained and some stairs.

She started walking around, trying to find something, anything that could possibly help him. It was a laboratory, Clarke was sure there was something. If she was lucky enough, she could even find a new (and ready to launch) rocket so they could find the others in space. She shook her head - that would never happen.

''Bingo.''

She grabbed some sort of syringe, detecting immediately that it was Becca's serum, which Abby was testing some days ago. There were two syringes that remained intacted by praimfaya.

Clarke looked at Bellamy and then at the serum. Her head was telling her it wouldn't make any difference, if he's dead already nothing could help him. But her heart... her heart told her with every certainity that the serum could make him smile and hug her again.

She runs to Bellamy and stabs the syring into his skin, trying to ignore her head screaming against her will. She had to do this.

''Bellamy,''

She does the same with the other serum.

''Bellamy, it's going to be alright. I know you can do this.''

Clarke grabs his hand.

''You're strong. No one can tear you down, not even this stinky praimfaya,''

She tries to joke.

The princess, as he would call her, looks one more time at him. She would do anything, anything, to sink into his dark brown eyes. She would do anything to hear his voice, even if it was to scream at her. She would do anything to fight with him, to laugh with him, to make intellectual jokes, to just exchange looks and communicate with their eyes.

 

It had been a while, until Clarke finally realized what was happening. She saved Raven, Echo, Murphy, Monty and Harper but couldn't save Bellamy. She ran to the laboratory and survived, but Bellamy didn't. She should've had insisted more with Bellamy, so he would enter the rocket with the others, but she didn't. And now Bellamy is here, with her, but at the same time he isn't. He is far away, next to her father and Jasper.

''I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry, I did this to you..''

Clarke lets her body fall, her head pressed to his chest once anymore.

''I did this to you and to everyone. I lost them, I lost you, I even lost myself. I don't know who I am anymore.''

''You warned me, you tried to help me, everyone tried. Everyone was expecting and expecting and I kept making mistakes and I took lives, I...''

''How did I survive?''

She sobs, squeezing his hand.

''I, of all people, survived. You should've had survived, not me. You should right now be here, breathing and smiling and jumping, I don't know- I just-''

''You deserve to live more.''

Clarke cried against Bellamy's chest, wishing she wouldn't be here, alone and alive. She cried loudly, not caring if anyone heard, because the true was - no one was here to hear it. She was all by herself.

She stayed like this for a bit, she finally understood that Bellamy was dead and that he sacrificed his life so she could live, so she would be the last person he saw before closing his eyes forever. He preferred dying holding her, than dying up in space surrounded by some of his closest friends. 

 

Complete silence surrounded the two leaders.

Nothing.

There was nothing left.

Praimfaya destroyed everyhting.

 

 

And then, out of the blue, he squeezed her hand and everything made sense again.

Praimfaya didn't destroy everything, after all.

_______________


	3. Chapter 3

Clarke almost jumped, completely incredulous. Bellamy couldn't be alive, it was impossible.

But then she felt him squeezing her hand again.

''Bellamy?''

No response. Her head was messing with Clarke, she thought.

''Bellamy, if you're alive squeeze my hand.''

''Please Bellamy.''

''I know this is stupid. I'm here talking to a corpse.''

Clarke shook her head and got up, taking a last glance at him.

''You didn't die in vain, I promise. I will honor you.''

With this being said, Clarke started quickly walking away. She didn't know where to go or what to do, but she knew she couldn't be near him. It hurt too much.

Clarke stopped walking as soon as she heard a noise, like some sort of groan.

''Bellamy? ...Bellamy!''

She runs to him again, sitting down so she could look at him properly.

''Were you leaving without me, princess?''

Bellamy said with a wheezy voice, his eyes were closed and drops of sweat rolled down his face.

''You know I couldn't.''

Clarke let a sigh slip out of her mouth, that she didn't know she was holding until then. She felt happy that he didn't die and relieved that he would be with her, that he didn't die for her or in vain.

''You really scared me to death.''

''So we did it?''

''We almost didn't. We were so close..''

''I thought I was dead.''

Bellamy confessed, which Clarke replied to with a sad smile. She thought that too.

''But you're here. And now you must be a nightblood.''

''So the serum worked? I used four of them, I wasn't sure..''

''When I woke up I used more two, but I'm not sure if it will work either."

Bellamy hummed and Clarke didn't say anything else, so she could calmly study his face. Bellamy looked sick, his voice was still rough and he didn't open his eyes. She was worried this could be the last conversation he would ever have.

''Bellamy, I need to check if you're ok.''

Clarke opened one of the eyes with her fingers, and they were reddish. She did the same with the other. She, then, checked his pulse and soon she realizes she was caressing his face while touching his drops of sweat.

She shook her head.

''I think your body is still adapting to this atmosphere. Hopefully you'll last six years, by then the radiation will be gone.''

Clarke tried to joke, but the thought of losing him for real this time was too painful.

''Clarke,''

Bellamy tried the best to speak loudly.

''If I don't survive-''

''You will.''

She quickly interrupts him, not letting him finish.

''I won't let anything bad happen to you, Bellamy.''

''I used to say that to Octavia..''

They both weakly smile at each other.

Bellamy opens his eyes slowly, closing them right after.

''My eyes hurt a bit..''

''They're adapting, but I think you should have more serum. ..Stay here and I will try to find more, ok?''

As Clarke gets ready to get up, Bellamy reaches for her arm.

''Please don't leave me here.''

He was vulnerable and Clarke sighed, she hadn't seen him like this in a long time. She still couldn't believe how he had so many personalities, how he could be soft and tough and then vulnerable and probably torturing someone right away and seconds after he would be spoiling a close friend.

Bellamy still was a mystery to Clarke, but one thing she knew for sure. He never made her feel uncomfortable. She knew she was safe with him, because even injured he would probably put her life in front of his own.

''I swear I will be back. See it this way: if I don't go and try to make you survive a little bit longer, you will be the one leaving me.''

 

Clarke found two syringes but they were both broken, so most of the nightblood inside of it was on the floor. She kept searching, though.

 

Sure enough, Clarke added one syringe to the rest she had and approached Bellamy once again.

''I'm back,''

She whispered, while injecting all the serum she had in his skin.

''You're back,''

He repeated her words, as they shared an intense eye contact. He softly smiled at her.

 

_______


	4. Chapter 4

''Are you feeling better?''

Clarke asked calmly, as Bellamy hummed in response.

They were still in the same spot, embracing the metallic table as if it was their new home. Bellamy was still adapting and Clarke didn't want to risk it.

It had been hours since it all first started. They were hungry and thirsty, but where they would they even go, considering most of the planet was still burning and the rest was strictly summed up to ashes?

''Clarke, we should get going.''

''We have nowhere to go..''

She was beyond tired and stressed out. First, she didn't got the chance to say goodbye to her mom, then she almost lost Bellamy, and now they're lost in hell.

''We need to eat and to drink, I have no idea where or how we're doing it, but if we don't, we'll die in vain.''

Bellamy was right.

''You're still readjusting, you're still weak-''

''I'm weak because I haven't eaten. Clarke, trust me.''

Bellamy stared intensely into Clarke's eyes. She slowly nodded, giving up on her own statements. She was starving, she wasn't thinking straight. She also trusted Bellamy. Blindy, even.

*

The former leaders had been walking for a while now. Bellamy had his arm around Clarke's shoulder, while she had her arm around his waist. They thought it would be for the best, since Bellamy's legs were still shaking and weak.

Sometimes it rained but luckily for them it was regular rain, not black rain. Every now and then, they would lift their heads up and just agressively drink the drops, trying to end with their thirst. The rain also helped them by erasing some small fires visible everywhere.

There were no animals, no healthy green trees or flowers, there wasn't a river with flowing water, there was nothing. Just two people, walking along a road made of ashes.

They tried to make chit-chat, tried joking with each other, making fun of the others up in space or down in the bunker. Nothing really helped. They knew they would die soon.

''Jasper, he... He really was something. He had everything to make the world a better place. In fact, he expected the world to be a better place.. And when he realized it sucked as much as the ark, he just- I don't know Clarke.'' Bellamy made a slight pause. ''I wish his destiny had been different.''

''..Clarke?''

Bellamy looked at the blonde girl, who wore watery eyes and a sad smile on her lips with class. She didn't say a word, she only drowned in his words.

She knew she did it to him. All Jasper wanted was to have fun, to be surrounded by his friend, to be treated as a hero (which he was), to have his girlfriend that he loved by his side. She took it away from him. She took all the joy... damn it, she took his life.

His soul, his entire being, died with Maya on that day. Yet, his body kept moving and pretending to be alive, just so Monty wouldn't fall in a dark, depressing cloud.

Clarke knew that if she hadn't been so stubborn, so eggocentric,.. she knew Jasper would be up in space, with Monty, probably making new drugs. Maya would be there too, experiencing life as she never got the chance before.

It was her fault. This had always been her fault. She wanted to help her father, she got him killed. She despised Wells, he went down to ark and died in vain. She listened to Finn, he died for her. She softened Lexa, she died weak. She killed them all. She took all their lives. And yet, no one dares to take her life away, no one dares to kill the murderer.

She looked up, with a concerned Bellamy gazing into her eyes. He was so worried... He cared about a murderer.

''Bellamy, you have to kill me.''

Clarke whispered secure of herself, with tears threatening to roll down her face.

''What?''

''Kill me.'' She spoke louder, removing her arm from his waist. ''Kill me! Kill me!'' Clarke started screaming. ''I killed Jasper! It's only fair if you kill me too,''

''Clarke, you're not making any sense-''

''Kill me! Or I'll do it! Just, please,'' She was a mess, her voice was breaking, her eyes were swollen. ''Please Bellamy, I can't do it anymore. I can't bare to see them in my sleep again... Please.''

''Clarke-''

She started running to a fire near them, she wanted to disappear. She wanted to sacrifice herself, she wanted to honor the dead ones in some way, she wanted to do something so she could finally be in peace.

Bellamy had an horrifying look in his face. He knew it wasn't Clarke's fault. He knew Clarke just tried to keep the humanity alive, she just wanted to renew Earth, to make it great like it had been 100 years ago.

''Clarke, please!''

He ran after her, not caring the slightest bit wether he was injured or not, wether his entire body was screaming for him to stop... nothing mattered anymore.

Clarke was reaching the fire, she was ready to jump right to it. She was ready to feel her entire body burning until she disappeared like all the trees, like all the plants and flowers that were once around them.

But Bellamy couldn't let that happen. Bellamy grabbed her body and pushed her to him so hard that they both fell, not touching the fire by mere luck. Maybe it was faith, but none of them believed in that anymore.

Bellamy grabbed Clarke with all the strength in the world, like his life depended on it.

And in some way it did. Clarke believed in him, she helped him, she cured him.

''You aren't a murderer, I'm not a monster. We're just messed up, but all we did- Clarke, it wasn't because we're selfish or because we're horrible. We did it to save our loved ones and to save this planet, that we only dreamt of living here once. You're no murderer. Jasper doesn't hate you, your father doesn't hate you. Neither does Wells, Finn... or Lexa.''

__________


	5. Chapter 5

After Bellamy's speech, they stayed quiet. They were so tired, so hungry, so hurt and scared, they fell asleep in each other's arms. Somehow, they wanted to believe this was all just a bad dream and that sleeping would resolve their problems, make everything go away.

Bellamy dreamt he was walking in a garden with flowers of every type. It was beautiful. He chase a blue butterfly, which lead to Octavia, that was happily playing with them, running and jumping like the joyful child she always wanted to be.

He walked a bit more, finding a river with glowing fish swimming inside it. He noticed someone on the other side. They were lying on the light green grass, being kissed by the sun. It was Monty and Jasper, and they had both a huge grin on their faces.

He noticed Miller, Raven and Murphy too. Miller was trying to make a surf board, Bellamy knew how much he wanted to surf, but he was also sure Miller couldn't do that on the river. He laughed. Raven climbed a tree and was resting on a strong branch. He noticed her smile, he noticed she didn't have dark circles around her eyes anymore. She had two legs, both working perfectly fine. Murphy was there as well, he didn't have scars, he wasn't broken. He had a genuine smile on his face, while caressing a little animal (perhaps a bunny).

Bellamy sat by the river, staring at his reflection. He looked fresh, clean. His hair wasn't messy, he didn't have blood or injuries on his face (which was surprising).

His reflection then changed and Clarke's image appeared, as he was watching a movie. She was laughing, she was shining. Her hair, her face, her eyes -- they look pure, clean, lighter than before. Her smile was wide, she wore clothes that weren't damaged or too dark. It matched her eyes, it made her even more beautiful than she was.

Bellamy knew where he was.

Eden. The paradise.

He sighs. He would do anything to make this dream come true, he would do anything to see a smile in each face of his friends.

He wanted them to reach happiness, no matter how hard that would be.

__

Clarke dreamt she was in a black hole, cold and empty. She was alone, surrounded by complete darkness.

She started walking to the left, to the right -- there was no use, though. There wasn't a way out, there wasn't a place she could go to. The only thing she could do was wake up, but that's not just something you decide in your sleep.

Screams started echoing, far far away. Clarke tried to follow the noise, it was getting louder and louder. She stopped as she recognized the voices.

Lexa, screaming. Jasper, crying. Wells, panicking. Finn's voice entering her ears abruptly.

''You did this to me''

''This is on you, wanheda''

''You ordered my death''

''Princesses must kill, right?''

''Everywhere you go, everything you do, you end up hurting everyone''

''I lost everything because of you''

Clarke yelled them to stop talking, while covering her ears with the hands. She was surrounded by the noise; everywhere she went, it was there. All that broken voices, all that voices filled with sadness and anger -- they were a part of Clarke. She couldn't get rid of them.

This was her hell.

___

After they both woke up, it was day already. They slept almost an entire day, which wasn't exaggerated at all considering how few they had slept since they first arrived on Earth.

Two days passed since praimfaya. There were no fires anymore, everything simply turned into ashes. They were getting weaker, they still hadn't found any food.

''I think we can still survive a few weeks without eating. Maybe two months tops.'' Clarke spoke for the first time in a while.

''In the meantime, I might eat one of your little fingers.'' Bellamy answered, with a small smirk on his lips.

''If I don't eat on of yours first, that is.'' She replied back instantly, equally joking.

___


	6. Chapter 6

One month since praimfaya passed.

Clarke and Bellamy hadn't eaten; they looked pale, getting skinnier as the days passed. They didn't stop fighting, though. Bellamy healed completely after the first week and ever since then, they tried to build a shelter. They also made up a technique that helped them collect raindrops, since that was their only meal.

Sometimes, they had allucinations and fights over something they thought was food -- it wasn't. It never was.

''That's it,'' Bellamy started. ''I'll refuse to stay here one more second.''

''What are you talking about?''

''Four weeks passed, Clarke. We have to keep moving until we find a river, animals,.. I don't know, something.''

''I doubt anything survived but us, Bell. Might as well enjoy this day like it's our last one.''

''No way,'' Bellamy snorts shaking his head. ''This is not how I want to spend my last day on Earth.''

''Well, I don't think this is my fault, now, is it?'' She attacked.

''What's that supposed to mean?'' He leaned closer to Clarke, with a confusing look on his face.

''I didn't ask you to stay behind.'' The blonde girl simply says, turning her back to him while walking to their shelter.

''You didn't need to ask me to stay behind,'' Bellamy walked equally to the shelter, not wanting to end this conversation.

''I know,'' She turns to him once more, crossing her arms. ''I know how I asked you to go and keep an eye on them, yet you stayed here being stubborn. Like always.''

''So what? You're saying that you would be better without me?'' He questions coldly.

''I might be saying exactly just that.'' Clarke lets slip almost in a scream, regretting it right after.

Bellamy widens his eyes while hearing her response, not really believing what he just heard. He didn't regret staying behind because he thought he was doing a good job protecting her, keeping her sane, helping her. He didn't regret it... until now.

''I'll do you a favor then, Princess.'' He gives her a fake smile before drinking water and leaving right after.

He had no idea where he was going, but he was hoping he could find food. He was still breathing, after all.

__

Clarke was curled up in a ball thinking about Bellamy while she was crying and licking her own tears. She was hungry, she was heartbroken and she was sad. It couldn't get worse.

Bellamy left an hour ago and Clarke had a feeling he wouldn't come back like he did the other times.

When Bellamy and Clarke fought, Bellamy would usually leave for ten minutes while Clarke would stay inside the shelter. When Bellamy came back, he would sit next to her. They would wait a bit more and then, when they felt like they were ready, they would look at each other in the eyes and just sheepishly smile, forgiving each other instantly.

Today wasn't the case, though. Their fights were about food and allucinations related to food. This time, they fought about something bigger than food: trust, protection.

Whipping her tears away, Clarke gets up and grabs the drop-collector (as they named it). She decided she was going to find Bellamy and apologize.

The truth is, she was happy he stayed behind for her. Bellamy made her happy.

__


	7. Chapter 7

Bellamy kept walking and walking, not really understanding where he was anymore. Everything looked the same -- death at its finest.

Time seemed to pass slowly and the fact that he was hungry just made things worse. All he wanted was to find food, but what was messing with his head was the fight with Clarke.

They're both starving and stubborn, and that wasn't a good combination.

Maybe I should go back, Bellamy thinks and shakes his head moments after. He shouldn't go back. He should prove a point to Clarke, so she could see that they weren't the only ones on Earth. Every part of him wanted to show her that she was wrong. So badly.

Resisting to the urge of going back, he inhales and walks faster. He shouldn't be wasting his energy like this, but he was hopeful.

His eyes close due to the brightness and, opening them again carefully, he sees a desert some kilometres away. He even swore he saw a river.

Bellamy sprinted as if he was catching Octavia, like they did when they were little; he wanted food. He knew food was there. He knew praimfaya couldn't just destroy everything. He knew everything would go back to normal. And he knew that radiation would make the animals bigger and therefore, a better meal.

He saw a little bunny hopping and quickly jumped to it, trying to catch it.

It wasn't a bunny.

Bellamy fell on the warm sand instead, and realized his allucionations messed with his mind. He is getting so tired and so hungry that he can't think straight. This affects him so much that part of him only cares about eating, so he starts dreaming about it -- asleep or awake, it doesn't matter.

He would do anything to catch a deer. Or a rabbit. Or even a tiny bug. He would do anything to eat at all.

Bellamy knows he wants to cry -- but nothing comes out. It's like his body has 6% of water in it, so there aren't tears left to cry, really.

''Bellamy!''

He moves his head catching a glimpse of a figure running to him. He shakes his head. Octavia is in the bunker, Clarke is in the shelter and the others are up in space. No way someone is actually calling for him.

His mother is dead. Maybe it's his mother.

Maybe I'm dead, he thinks.

''Bellamy are you okay?''

The figure sits down, touching him to see if he couldn't move. Bellamy turns his body completely to it, seeing Clarke.

He rolls his eyes.

Stop messing with me, stupid allucinations.

''Seriously Bellamy, did you hit your head or something? I tried to come as quickly as I could.''

I won't resist to this.

''Bell, please say something. I know we had a fight but...''

He widens his eyes as part of him believes it actually is Clarke.

''I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that, I didn't even mean it. Don't be mad at me, it just has been... tough.''

''Clarke?'' Bellamy clears his throat, ''pinch me''

''What? Why would I do that?''

''Please. If you're real just... do it.''

''Of course I'm real, what are you even saying?'' She rolls her eyes, pinching him right after.

Bellamy lets a little scream slip away as Clarke giggles.

''You asked for it.'' She replies right after with a smirk.

''I'm sorry too.'' Bellamy says in a serious tone. ''You're right, I was stubborn. I was going to leave with them, you know... But I just couldn't bring myself to do it. I guess I'm just so... used to protect you all the time. I could just not be here with you. You helped me through tough times and I just didn't want to leave you behind.''

''And I'm really thankful for that,'' Clarke says truthfully.

They nod at each other, smiling shyly. They kept looking at each other's eyes as if they were sinking in them. The blue shade of Clarke's eyes just amazed Bellamy and his brown tone just made her eager to paint them one day.

 

After a long, yet comfortable, silence they look up.

''Is that..''

''I think..''

''But..''

''Birds!''

Clarke and Bellamy quickly jump, forgetting in how much pain they were, trying to find where the noise was coming from.

''There!'' Bellamy pointed to a bird, clearly affected by the radiation as it was very big, that was flying away.

Bellamy grabbed her hand and they ran, together, after it.

''Wait.''

They stop near a rock.

''This is..''

''Food arrived.''

Bellamy smirked as the former leaders look at the amount of big fat birds reuniting near a dried lake.


	8. Chapter 8

Clarke carefully approached the birds, trying to not make noise so they wouldn't notice. She looked over her shoulder, her eyes meeting Bellamy's. With his slow nod, she knew it was now or never. She quickly jumped, grabbing one of the birds. Bellamy ran to them, hitting it with a rock.

Clarke knew that if she was still in space, imagining life on Earth, she would find this disgusting. She would say they shouldn't kill the bird, they shouldn't be cold enough to eat it without thinking about it. But life on the Ark was completely different. There was always food, there was always something, they were able to produce it ten times more.

Here it's more complicated. Sure, Earth had green everywhere, eatable plants (some of them delicious, might Clarke add) but Praimfaya made sure all of it was destroyed. So now, it doesn't matter how bad it sounds, but they had to kill the birds to live.

__

After properly preparing the bird, they started eating it. They made sure to slice it in two equal parts, and boy -- didn't they enjoy it.

''Hey Clarke,'' Bellamy starts while tasting his food, that he so eagerly waited for. ''How do you think this bird survived?''

''I have no idea,'' She replies, also enjoying every moment of the their meal. ''Maybe they injected themselves with Becca's serum as well.'' She jokes, shaking her head right after with a little laugh.

''I don't know.'' He smiles, clearly amused. ''What if they found shelter somewhere?''

''Becca's lab barely survived. I don't think anything else did.''

''Maybe... Maybe Mount Weather did.''

They look at each other, realizing how dumb they had been all this time. Mount Weather could've had survived, which meant there were still resources, helpful tools and some food. There were probably even beds.

''We should look for it after we rest.'' Clarke affirms, as Bellamy nods agreeing with her.

__

After eating the rest of the bird, they decided to sleep. It was getting dark soon and they were too tired to go back to their shelter. Sure, they didn't have water here, but they already ate and the warm sand looks too comfortable to not lay on it.

Bellamy takes off his jacket, wrapping it up as if it was a pillow. Clarke does the same, and they lay down, near the dry lake where the birds were initially.

The former leaders look up to the sky full of stars, as their eyes begin to slowly close.

''Hey Bellamy,'' Clarke whispers softly not taking her eyes off of the stars.

''Hey Clarke,'' Bellamy replies under his breath.

''Do you think they're okay up there?'' She was genuinely scared. She knew they would be much safer on the bunker. For all she knew, they could be dead by now.

''I think I can't believe how selfless you are, considering you're suffering, you're weak and haven't been eating right in nearly a month. Yet, your only concern are the others,'' The freckled boy looks to her, their eyes meeting once more. ''For once in your life, take a break. Take care of yourself. Put yourself first.... You deserve it.''

She slowly nods, an adorable smile dancing on her lips. ''Thank you,''Clarke gets closer to Bellamy, resting her head on his chest, pretending he was the comfiest pillow she ever had.

''Anytime, princess.'' Bellamy's arm rests on her waist, while his body relaxes completely. His eyes closed slowly, but not before he realized Clarke had fallen asleep as well.

__

Clarke woke up feeling two strong arms around her tiny body, heating her up. Her head wasn't resting on Bellamy's chest anymore, but he was calmly breathing against her neck, letting snores slip out once in a while.

Her original idea was getting up, starting a new day and go looking for Mount Weather. But then she thought twice and intertwined Bellamy's fingers with hers. It was probably a huge risk, he could get the wrong idea and then he would avoid her.

She had no idea if Bellamy had had another girlfriend since Gina, they never really talked about it before. She considered Bellamy one of her closest friends, if not the closest to a brother she could ever get. She wanted to talk with him about Lexa so badly, she wanted to tell him everything and how she suffered with both her death and Finn's. But she also knew it was a touchy subject.

So Bellamy and Clarke never talked about girlfriends or boyfriends or even love or dates. They never had time for it. They were constantly busy trying to save their people or humanity in general. She wished she could be a normal teenager in the 1999s, as she watched several movies about it back in the Ark.

Now they didn't have to hurry, though. The world couldn't get better and there wasn't anyone left to save. Clarke and Bellamy were alone in this enormous world, with nothing better to do than to find food or water.

So yes, Clarke thought she didn't need to get up so quickly. She could enjoy this moment, she could sleep a little bit more.

And so she did.


	9. Chapter 9

Bellamy woke up feeling refreshed, as if he was completely cured. His stomach was, of course, asking for more food, but he didn't mind. Eating that bird the day before had been a miracle and a sign of hope and he wanted to hold on to that until they found more food.

Later that morning, the former leaders decided to finally keep on moving. Their mission was to find Mount Weather (believing it survived praimfaya) and then use it to rest and to find more birds or other animals that may have survived.

''So,'' Bellamy started. ''When we find Mount Weather, what is the first thing you're going to do?''

''If we find Mount Weather,'' Clarke corrects him. ''I want to find some clothes and finally clean myself up.''

''Good... You reek.''

Clarke stops walking, clearly offended, but then she looks at Bellamy's face, who was glowing with his remarkable smirk.

She remembered when they first landed on Earth and when Bellamy wanted to take her wristband desperately off. That time he had also smirked, mocking her, with his partner Murphy. But this time it was different.

In the beginning, Bellamy didn't really care about her, he didn't care if he would hurt her even. Now, his light jokes are followed by his soft, calming eyes that transmit safety.

''Why, thank you very much.'' She rolls her eyes, not able to hide her smile as she keeps walking next to him. ''What about you? What are you going to do?''

''I sure as hell will attack every animal I find. I have to catch 3 meals per day up. We haven't eaten properly in a month-ish, and if my maths are correct I have to eat for like six hours nonstop.''

''You're such a dork,'' Clarke chuckles. ''I don't think you're able to eat for six hours nonstop, but I'd love to see you try.''

''You're on, princess.''

__

''Do you think we're close or something? I'm getting really tired.''

''Do you want to rest for a bit?''

''No, thanks Bellamy. The sooner we find it, the sooner we go home.''

''Improvised home, you mean.''

''Exactly. Mount Weather is far from being considered my.. home.''

Bellamy nods at her, a reassuring smile on his lips, as if he wanted her to know how well he understood what she was saying.

''You know what,'' Bellamy licks his lips. ''It's good to be carefree for once.'' Clarke glanced at him, so he would finish his thought. ''I always had to worry about something. About school, about Octavia, about The 100, about the grounders... about you. I, of course, still worry about some of those things, but I don't have to be constantly waking up in the middle of the night and thinking about strategies. Or having nightmares where Octavia will never forgive me, and will never be close to me again, where she in the end dies... and it's all my fault again.''

The blonde girl moves closer to him, squeezing his arm, assuring him that he wasn't alone, that Octavia would never die, that he could finally take a well-deserved break.

''Clarke, you have no idea how good I feel, just lying on the ground and sleeping for hours, without being concerned, without thinking about Pike or death entering in every thought of mine. I guess I wish my arrival on Earth would be more like this. Peaceful, relaxing,..'' He scoffs. ''This is dumb, I admit. But part of me always imagined I would come to the ground, feel the sun on my face, see trees everywhere and just scent every type of flowers on a breeze.''

''Hey,'' Clarke stops, making him stop too. ''It's not dumb,'' She puts her hands on his arms. ''I imagined that too, actually.'' Clarke amusingly smiles at Bellamy, realizing how alike they are, in a way she thought they would never be. ''I thought coming down here would be like a fairytale, and a huge orchestra would be playing while I would dance, with bare feet, on the green grass, carefree and just thinking about nothing in concrete... but then, it was nothing like I expected it. We arrived, people died, I had some arguments with the rebel leader,'' Bellamy rolls his eyes. ''I feared for my life and everyone else's. But I also met incredible people and I'm grateful for that. So what if Earth wasn't everything we wanted it to be? We're here now, we survived and there isn't any threat. This is the break you needed, the break I needed. Let's just enjoy it,''

___

''It was supposed to be here...''

''Are you sure?'' Clarke questions, her eyes still hopeful.

''Yes the last time I was here-'' Bellamy stops himself. ''Gina..'' He mutters under his breath, Clarke barely hears it. ''God, I'm such an idiot,'' He puts his hands over his head, screaming in frustration. ''Of course Mount Weather isn't here. It blew up. Echo did it. I can't believe I forgot that. I can't believe I forgot...''

''Hey, it's okay.'' Clarke says, offering him a smile.

''No Clarke, it's not damn okay! I forgot that. I forgot about Gina. I have been forgetting so many things lately. This whole not-eating thing is washing my memories away, my throat is dry, I forget how to breathe sometimes, I gain bruises easily! Damn it, Clarke! What are we going to do now? I don't want to die in this miserable excuse of a planet!''

Saying Bellamy Blake was freaking out was an understatement. He was acting crazy, moving back and forward, screaming and crying in frustration, yelling at Clarke and at himself, blaming the fault on everyone, even though there wasn't really anyone he could blame it on.

Clarke had never seen him like this before. He was always calm and reasonable, he never gave up and never started thinking about the worse case scenario.

''Bellamy, ... Bellamy, calm down'' She tries to touch him, but he won't let her. She sighs, not really knowing what to do.

''We are going to die, Clarke. There isn't a shelter for us, the birds went I don't know where, the bunker is sealed and we have NOTHING!''

''Bellamy,''

''The only possible solution is if we start eating each other. I know, it sounds disgusting. I can't take it anymore and I would never let you-''

''Bellamy,''

''No, let me finish. I would never let you die for me, so if we pull this off correctly, I can die so you will have food for-''

''BELLAMY!''Clarke finally captures his attention, screaming a bit louder than she had expected to. ''Look,'' She indicates for him to look to his left.

And so he did.

What the hell is doing a little girl here?, he thought.

____


	10. Chapter 10

A very young girl was staring a the former leaders quite curiously. Her hair wasn't combed and it had some ashes resting on it. Her face was completely dirty, some bruises embracing her cheeks. Her eyes were colored in a clear blue ocean shade, her lips were dry giving it a more pale shade.

Bellamy and Clarke stopped talking and stared at her, equally. Clarke's hair wasn't as blonde as it used to be, since she hadn't taken a shower in almost two months. Her bruises were slowly fading and her eyes looked tired, with deep bags under them. Bellamy also had a nasty face, with ashes covering it as well as drops of sweat mixed with dried blood.

Bellamy, Clarke and the girl apparently had nothing in common. Yet, they had everything in common. First, they were all alive. Second, they hadn't eaten properly in a fair amount of time. Third, they all reek and need urgently a shower.

After an interesting staring contest, Clarke cleared her throat.

''Hello, I'm Clarke,'' she smiles at the little girl, who just scoffed. ''This is Bellamy,'' She points at the boy, who is trying to give his best smile while not trying to look confused. ''What is your name?''

Clarke knees down, trying to imitate the little girl's height, offering her a warm, comforting smile. She was as confused as Bellamy, she didn't know how another person could have had survived, but she wanted to find out. Maybe that girl could lead to a civilization, maybe they weren't alone after all.

The girl steps back, afraid they would hurt her. As Bellamy realizes that, which reminded him of young Octavia, he also knees down.

''You don't have to be afraid,'' He starts. ''We won't hurt you.''

''I know we probably don't look really nice right now, but that's just because we haven't eaten right.'' Clarke continues.

''Exactly,'' He looks at Clarke nodding. ''Also, I'm way more funnier than this. You would've instantly liked me.''

The girl faintly smiles and says with a low voice, ''Ai name ste Madi''.

''Wait, I...''

''She's a grounder, Clarke.'' Bellamy says quietly, so Madi wouldn't hear. ''What now? Can you speak with her?''

''I can try.'' The blonde girl says confidently, clearing her throat. ''Can yu speak gonasleng (can you speak english)?'' Madi shakes her head, as if she was saying no. ''Em's ok, nou get yu daun (It's ok, don't worry). Laik you alone (are you alone)?''

''Sha (yes).'' Madi says, stepping closer to them. She didn't have a smile on her face anymore, she just looked alone and hurt. ''Emo just left en nowe cambe back (they just left and never came back), ai nou understand chit happened (I don't understand what happened). En den the trimani just burned down (and then the forest just burned down)!''

''What did she say?'' Bellamy whispers.

''I think she's as confused as us,'' Replies Clarke, trying to translate Madi's speech.

''Kom which clan laik yu (from which clan are you)?''

''Skaikru.''

''Skaikru? Chit's bilaik (what's that)?''

''Bilaik doesn't matter nau (that doesn't matter now). Do yu don a shelter (do you have a shelter)?''

''Disha way (this way).''

___

Madi, Bellamy and Clarke walked for an eternity, although they actually just walked for thirty minutes, which wasn't the longest walk they had since praimfaya... it was probably the shortest, instead.

But for Bellamy and Clarke it felt like an eternity because they were dying to see if something didn't burn, if Madi had supplies, if she had something that they could use for a living.

Bellamy was also anxious, because every part of him was begging him to take care of Madi the way he did with Octavia. That little girl had five years, or maybe more, and was alone and scared -- she had no one. Bellamy couldn't just let her this way.

Clarke kept thinking about what she learnt in the City of Light. A.L.I.E told her 4% of Earth's surface would survive, the rest 96% would be unhabitable. What if...

''Hei Madi (hey Madi), can ai ask yu something (can I ask you something)?''

''Chit's wrong, Klark (what's wrong, Clarke)?''

''Laik yu... laik yu a natblida (are you... are you a nightblood)?''

''Laik yu a flaimkepa (Are you a flamekeeper)?'' Madi questioned as she stops walking. She looks taken aback by Clarke's curiosity. She didn't think flamekeepers would recrute her so soon.

''No, no! Osir laik seintaim natblidas (we're also nightbloods).''

''Yu laik?'' Madi's eyes widen and a little smile grows on her face once more. It was nice to not feel so lonely anymore. ''Osir're hir (we're here).''

Suddenly, Bellamy and Clarke's landscape wasn't just a rough yellow background with remaining ashes. Some greenish yellow mixed to it, there were some little houses almost untouched. There were only a couple of trees and they weren't colored in a vibrant green as they should, but it was cosy enough.

They found the 4% Clarke was thinking about all day. And for the first time in a while, happiness overwhelmed them both, in the best way possible.


	11. Chapter 11

The first week passed; the green started to flourish again. Clarke and Bellamy learnt a lot with Madi, Madi learnt a lot with Bellamy and Clarke. The former leaders tried to improve and speak trigedasleng almost fluently. Madi tried to start speaking english as well. 

The second week passed; a lake was being, slowly, formed. A lake with fresh water for them, a lake were they could finally clean themselves up. Clarke finally started to smile again, hope invaded her entire being. 

The third week passed; Bellamy started to cough. He used to get colds all the time up in the ark, but nothing ever happened as he went down. He tried to act as if it was normal, but Clarke was worried. Madi tried to remember what her family taught her before, about the curing herbs: praimfaya destroyed them all.

The fourth week passed, it marked a month since they met Madi, a month since they realized death wouldn't attack them soon enough. It also marked two months since praimfaya destroyed their former lifes. Bellamy wasn't getting better, either.

It was on the fifth week Clarke realized that Bellamy needed help.

''I'm fine, I swear,'' Bellamy whispers coughing right afterwards. 

''Bellamy, you're not fine. We need to do something!''

''I said I'm fine! Quit the doctor act!'' He raises his voice and gets up. ''Clarke I survived until now, nothing can tear me down. I'm fine,''

''Hey, don't- Don't you dare walk away on me, Bellamy Blake!'' As he started walking in the opposite direction, Clarke taps his shoulder, making him stop. He turns to her. ''Yes, I'm worried about you. Because yes, you haven't eaten properly for months and yes, this might be a nutritional problem but it might also be because the nightblood serum isn't working! So yes, Bellamy, I'm worried because if it's about the serum, there's nothing I can do and yes, in that case something will tear you down. Praimfaya will finally get to you and I will never, ever, forgive myself for it.'' Clarke says in tears, almost forgetting how to breath. 

''The serum worked, alright?'' Bellamy says slowly, staring at her deep, blue ocean eyes. ''I'm here, I'm not leaving. Once I eat a big, fat, yummy bird I won't cough anymore.'' 

Clarke rolls her eyes, tears falling down her face, a little laugh escaping her mouth. Bellamy smiles at her reaction, putting his arms around her body and hugging her as tight as he could. 

Clarke hugs him back, her little hands pushing him closer to her. She sank into his chest, crying as if he already was gone. She couldn't think about other thing, it was making her crazy. Clarke just wanted his safety, she wanted him to live a happy, healthy life. 

Bellamy tried so hard to not cry as well. He was scared, he was scared of dying, scared of leaving Clarke behind and Madi too, he was scared he would never see Octavia again. He was scared of not being strong enough. 

''Chit's wrong (what's wrong)?''

Clarke and Bellamy turn to see Madi staring at them, with her big, worried eyes. 

''Nothing's wrong, Di.'' Bellamy says, offering her a warm smile. ''Come here,'' One of his arms rests on Clarke's waist, while the other lets her body go, to embrace Madi.

They stayed like that for some time. Just hugging, heating each other up, transmiting their strength. They almost looked like a family. 

A true, real, beautiful family.


	12. Chapter 12

On the third month, flowers and grass shyly grew and more rivers with fresh water invaded the woods. Birds flew around, radioactive animals were born. This, of course, helped the hunt and killed the hunger.

Clarke and Bellamy took shifts. Clarke would search around the zone for three days per week and Bellamy would go two days; they decided it would be better this way since Bellamy knew how to prepare their meals better. Clarke wasn't such a great cook... she was busy with other type of activities.

Sometimes Clarke would show up with papers, pencils, blankets she found in a bunker. It reminded her of Finn, and how they first found a similar bunker, but she always shook her thoughts away, she had bigger problems to focus on.

It took them weeks to build a proper house, with a stable roof. They destroyed the previous little houses, to build a bigger one, with three bedrooms and another one, which could be named as a living room.

Outside they had some music instruments because Madi loved them, she loved how angelical they sounded together, and how unique they sounded alone. Madi reminded the former leaders of Jasper, he was always listening to music, he was constantly enjoying and appreciating that kind of art.

There was also a zone where they had breakfast every morning, with flowers surrounding them, with chairs made of trees. And at night they would listen to each other's stories, next to the fire, while keeping warm.

''Please Clarke,'' Madi begged.

They were all sitting next to the fire and the little girl wanted to hear more about the delinquents' stories so badly. Clarke shook her head.

''Madi, it's getting late. Tomorrow is a big day for all of us, you should sleep,''

''Bellamy... Please?'' Madi turned to him. Bellamy widened his eyes, not really knowing what to say.

''I...'' He looked at Clarke, which had a reproving look on her face and then he saw Madi, with her big blue eyes, just wanting to hear an innocent short story before going to sleep. ''Alright.''

''You do this everytime, you're terrible'' Clarke groaned.

''I can't help it,'' Bellamy shrugged. ''Let's see, we already talked about Octavia, Murphy, Jasper and Monty. Who do you want next?''

''Skairipa!''

''Madi you know the rules, only one story of one of them per day.''

''Alright... Lincoln then.''

''Lincoln kom Trikru. He wasn't a man of big words, he always preferred gestures, actions. He was brave, a real peacemaker. He always knew what to say and when to say it though. I remember he told me, when he was younger... his dad made him do something bad to a man just because he wasn't a grounder, Lincoln told me this was supposed to turn him into a monster... but even in those moments, he knew what was right and what was wrong, all he wanted was to live without complications.''

''Do you think Octavia and Lincoln would be teina (together) forever?''

''They loved each other very much, yes.''

Realizing Bellamy already had watery eyes, Clarke got up.

''Alright little princess, now we really need to get some sleep.'' She spoke to Madi, grabbing her hand.

''Hey! You're the princess, not me,'' Madi answered, sticking her tongue out.

''Really funny,'' Clarke rolled her eyes but couldn't help and smiled shamelessly.

''Leida (bye) Bellamy, sleep well.'' Madi said giving him a kiss on the cheek and then ran inside.

''I'll be right back,'' she whispered and touched his shoulder.

______

''Is she sleeping already?'' Bellamy questioned when he noticed the blonde girl's presence.

''Yes, and she told me she can't wait to hear more stories tomorrow. She never changes.'' Clarke slightly chuckled.

''Reminds me of someone...''

''Bellamy, you'll see Octavia again soon.'' Clarke puts her hand again on his shoulder and he relaxes to her touch, closing his eyes. ''She's safe. Your only worry now is surviving until then.''

''It's hard..''

''She can take care of herself, she always did. She's fierce and strong, she's probably acting like a real heda there with servants and fancy drinks.''

''She probably is doing all that and more, huh?'' Bellamy turns to the girl next to him, gazing into her eyes.

''Definitely.''

___________


	13. Chapter 13

"Clarke."

The blonde girl turns around and approaches Bellamy. He was sitting in a chair, in the beautiful place they built outside so they could all have a joyful breakfast together.

As she sits in front of him, they smile at each other, although Bellamy's fades quickly.

"Where is Madi?" He questions, trying to avoid the actual subject. He was nervous.

"In the lake. She is refreshing herself... it might take a while." Clarke chuckles, remembering how lazy the girl was and how much she loved being in the fresh water. Her face falls. "I assume you didn't call me her for Madi whereabouts?"

"You assumed right. I just.. I don't know how to say it." He starts playing with random objects in the table, avoiding her penetrating gaze.

"Is something wrong? Is it about Octavia?"

Silence. Bellamy didn't say a word.

"Are you finally ready to talk about.. you know.. Gina?"

"Because if you are," Clarke continues, "I'm ready too. Sometimes all we need is to vent with someone and it will eventually heal with time."

Clarke tries to grab his hand, but he refuses to, finally looking at her.

"That's not it. I.. Look, what I'm about to tell you might change things drastically between us, between Madi and I, between our little community here. I'm still trying to understand it myself, but I can't keep it from you any longer."

"Bellamy, whatever is happening, whatever is bothering you," Clarke reaches for his hand once more, and succeeds, "I'm here, Madi is here. We will help you overcome whatever it is. We've been through many monsters, grounders, we survived deaths and great injuries,... whatever it is that you're about to tell me, doesn't look like any worse."

Bellamy takes a deep breath, "I.... I mean, I'm...., I don't know I just..."

"It's okay, go on." Clarke encourages him, calmly nodding and squeezing his hand.

"I've been... I think I'm going to die. The serum didn't work."

"What the hell, Bellamy?!" Clarke abruptly gets up, their hands no longer touching. Tears already being formed and threatening to roll down her cheeks, Clarke wipes them away furiously.

"I know I should've told you earlier," Bellamy gets also up, but the girl walks backwards, avoiding his touch and proximity at all costs.

"Why are you even saying that?! Why are you saying you..... You're not going to die!" Clarke's soft voice gets louder, close to breaking, her hands were shaking.

"I've been coughing blood, RED blood,... I'm so sorry Princess," Bellamy grabs her hand, but she walks away once more.

"Don't you princess me! And don't you dare tell me that to my face again!"

Clarke runs away, leaving the little town they've been building since they first found that place. She knew she had responsibilities and Madi to take care of, but Bellamy's words were still echoing loudly in her head.

______

Clarke walked and walked through the former florest, now with ashes and remainings of trees in the ground, still not recovered from praimfaya.

When she stopped, Clarke realized she was in Becca's laboratory, or whatever was left of it.

She didn't want to believe that Bellamy was dying. Almost four months passed and he was here, so why is he saying that the serum doesn't work? It doesn't make sense.

If the serum didn't work, he would be dead by now. He would have injuries, his skin would be burning and he would be weak.

His skin is clear, he is strong and he doesn't have injuries. His body adapted to the serum. It's not possible.

_________

"I heard screams. Did something happen?" Madi approaches Bellamy, who was sitting on the nasty, uncomfortable ground.

He looks up to the young girl, with new clothes Clarke sewed for her, and with wet hair, confirming that she had been, indeed, in the lake.

"I just had a little argument with Clarke. She'll be back soon."

"Because of the red jus (blood)?" Madi sits next to him, while Bellamy widens his eyes.

"How did you know about that?"

"I saw you the other day. When Clarke was hunting. You're not a natblida (nightblood), is that why Clarke is mad?"

"Yes, sort of. Well,Aren't you a clever girl?" Bellamy smiles at her, kissing the top of her head. "Let's go water the flowers. That sounds good right?" He gets up and offers his hand to Madi, so she could get up too.

"Bellamy," Madi gets up and squeezes his hand, "Please don't leave..... I think red blood is prettier than dark blood like mine."

Bellamy smiles softly, "I won't."


	14. Chapter 14

Clarke stayed in Becca's laboratory for a while. Just the thought of losing Bellamy made her heart ache, her arms shiver. She couldn't lose him. Not today, not tomorrow, not ever.

He said he had been coughing red blood. But he is still alive... which might probably mean that he is a hybrid. Bellamy could only be half nightblood -- it helped him survive until now, but it's slowly fading. But even if Bellamy is only half nightblood, it doesn't mean he will die.

Clarke gets up and starts running to their village, she knows exactly what to do.

_____

''Is Clarke gone forever?'' Madi asks almost in a whisper.

They were sitting next to the fire, like they did every night. But this time it was different. This time, Madi didn't beg to hear another story about their friends in space or in the bunker. This time, Madi was scared for Clarke. Bellamy was angry at himself for not being strong enough.

''She is just... thinking. She does that all the time. Don't worry, little natblida.'' Bellamy puts his arms around her tiny body and Madi rests her head on his chest. They weren't used to this environment. Heavy, sad,..

After a long silence, the little curious girl speaks once more.

''My nontu (father) and my nomon (mother) used to show hodnes (love) many times.. but it's not very usual to do that in public.. Did you and Clarke did that too before?''

Bellamy looks at her, knowing exactly what she meant. He didn't know how to answer that, though.

''You always talked about Skairipa and Lincoln,'' she continued ''but you never told me about Wanheda and her loyal Knight.''

''Right, well..'' Bellamy clears his throat. ''They.. they went through a lot. At first, they didn't really like each other. They would find themselves screaming at each other, having different points of view. Secretly, the Knight found she was amusing. She believed in something and she did it, without no hesitation. He liked that about her. Throughout the first weeks on the ground, their respect for each other grew. They tolerated each other, relied on each other's opinions,-''

''They were leaders.'' Madi completed.

''Exactly. Then the grown-ups came down too. At first, their relationship didn't change much, but she chose differently. They were, once more, distant. It just wasn't... the same.''

''She fell in hodnes (love)?''

''More than once, and each time it hurt more and more.''

''Didn't the Knight kiss the bruises? That's what my nomon (mother) used to do everytime I was hurt.''

Bellamy looked at Madi again, she was so innocent that she had no idea how much her questions were hurting him. He just wished he could go back time and make things differently.

''She hid her bruises very well... no one saw them, nor knew about them most of the time.''

''And-''

''Madi, I think we should stop. I'm not feeling very well. Let's put you in bed, shall we?''

Bellamy got up and so did the girl beside him and after her quick nod, they went to her bedroom.

''Sleep well, little natblida.''

''You too.''

____

Bellamy was almost falling asleep, next to the fire, while waiting for Clarke. It had been hours and hours, she hadn't came back yet. He was getting worried.

Bellamy knew there wasn't a real threat out there, but just thinking she was hurt or crying anywhere, or even lost,... it broke his heart.

''Bellamy..'' Clarke whispered and he slowly opened his eyes. ''We need to talk.''

''Are you okay?'' He quickly asked, while sitting next to her.

''I'm sorry I left. You just caught me out of guard. Anyways,'' Clarke looks at the fire avoiding his gaze. ''I think I have a solution. I'm not letting you die. You said you were coughing red blood, right?'' She finally looks at him. Bellamy nods. ''Well, that probably means you are half nightblood-- and before you interrupt me, let me explain. You are alive and barely have bruises which means that the nightblood worked, but the red blood you coughed could only mean that you didn't have enough serum although it is in your body.''

''Alright, I understand. But what are we going to do now? There is no serum left.''

''But there is nightblood everywhere in this camp.''

''Are you saying...''

''I'm transfusing part of my blood to you.''


	15. Chapter 15

''Are you saying...''

''I'm transfusing part of my blood to you.''

''No.'' Bellamy repeatedly shakes his head. ''If you do that you will only get weaker and who knows, die.''

''I know what I'm doing Bellamy.'' Clarke says sternly.

''You don't have your doctor-things here.'' He arguments again.

''I can make new ones. I just need to go to Becca's lab-''

''Doesn't 'transfuse' mean your blood goes to my body while mine gets to yours? That would make you half nightblood. That would make you be the one coughing blood. Do you really think I am going to let you do this? Save my life while putting in risk your own?'' He crosses his arms, with a piercing gaze.

''Stop being stubborn!'' Clarke raises her voice and immediately regrets it, knowing Madi was probably sleeping already. ''I don't have to necessarily receive your blood, I will just transfuse mine. And yes, we will do this Bellamy.'' She crosses her arms as well, rolling her eyes. ''We will do this everyday from now on. That way, I can lose blood without getting too weak. And that way, you can regain strength and be a full nightblood.'' She pauses for a second. Bellamy's gaze is still penetrating her entire soul, which happens in every eye-to-eye conversation they have. ''Any questions?'' She suddenly asks, looking away.

''Thank you.'' He whispers under his breath. He is forever grateful for her company, for her help, for, essentially, her.

______________

Clarke can't stop moving. She is either turning, or tossing, or just breathing heavily. She closes her eyes and opens them suddenly. She puts her hand on her hair and plays with it, trying to relax, to forget about her sudden thoughts.

She never had a chance to think about this before because there was always something else occupying her head, but having Bellamy so close to her now, talking with him everyday, seeing him and spending pretty much all her time with him --- it just complicates things, a lot.

When they first met she was aware that they were complete opposites. She was privileged, it doesn't matter how much she hated that term, and he was a unlucky guy who gave his childhood and adolescence up to raise his sister. They would never ever become good friends, they both wanted to lead and everyone knows there is only one crown for one king, they couldn't split it.

But they did. They learnt how to cope with each other and how to put their (many) differences aside. And then they learnt how similar they were, how they wanted only the best for their people, how they both had much knowledge, and how they both just wished their lives on the ground could be easier.

With Finn, it all happened quick. They were young, free, their only concerne was to survive. They had each other -- and didn't that feel good. They relied on each other, they had similar thoughts, they had lust for each other. They wanted to connect in an even more deep level. So Clarke didn't lose her virginity, because she once had a boyfriend on the ark, but it sure felt like it. Finn made her feel like a goofy little fifteen-year-old girl all over again, it felt right, it felt good. But it felt too good and that was, probably, the problem. She started to feel for him things she hadn't felt for anyone before and then Raven showed up. Clarke, looking back, doesn't blame him. He thought he wasn't going to see Raven again and him arriving on Earth meant he would start over and found comfort in Clarke. In her eyes, Finn was a peacemaker and shouldn't have died the way he did. 

With Lexa, it also happened relatively quick. Clarke had so many reasons to hate her. Lexa made her kill Finn, Lexa betrayed Clarke and her people, Lexa made Clarke make bad decisions. But Clarke was vulnerable, fragile, she still couldn't understand how her mother was alive since she had been mourning for weeks due to her supposed death. Clarke couldn't cope with Finn's death, she still loved him, he was still the first good thing she found on the ground, she still couldn't cope with Wells death, her bestest best friend, the one who was there for here ever since they wore diapers. Clarke couldn't cope with the deaths and pain she caused to others, so she gave up. She looked at Lexa and couldn't understand, but their sexual tension was so thick someone could cut it with a sword. Clarke knew how much Lexa desired her, and feeling desired, in that very moment, gave her satisfaction. What Lexa and Clarke had wasn't a deep, emotional connection, but it was especial for her and she doesn't think she will ever forget how her sweet lips tasted against Clarke's, how her heart would beat faster than ever everytime Lexa touched her. She would never forget Lexa or forgive herself for her death.

Then she had Niylah, who made her feel alive again. Niylah gave her pleasure, made her occasionally smile and they never had to explain their feelings towards each other. It was casual and it was exactly what Clarke needed -- someone to take her pain away, someone who could make her forget about everything bad.

So Clarke thought about all three of them, she thought about her people and how to keep them safe, how to fight the enemy and how to escape Praimfaya. Clarke didn't have time to think about Bellamy, about his freckles, about the way he crosses his arms and furrows his eyebrows and manages to look adorable while being mad, about their closeness everytime they try to think about strategies against the enemy, about how good he smells and how messy his hair is or how his voice sounds like honey to her ears. She didn't have time to think about all the jokes he made so she could feel better, how he distracted her, how he made her forget bad things and how he protected her, how he trusted her blindly. She didn't have time for that.

But now she has.... and, damn, isn't that horrible. Now that all these thoughts keep her awake at night, now that she constantly thinks about all the moments they had since the beginning until now, this starts to be a problem for her. Now Clarke realizes how her stomach flutters everytime his big beautiful mouth opens to speak, how attractive she finds it whenever he is telling stories to Madi, how he protects the little girl as if she is his daughter.

And the worst part of this is, she can't control how she melts everytime they gaze at each other. Clarke just gets lost in Bellamy's eyes so easily, it's ridiculous. It's ridiculous how much she wants him.

But she will never admit it to him, or to anyone, but herself.


	16. Chapter 16

That night Bellamy fell asleep quickly. His bed didn't seem uncomfortable anymore and his pillow seemed like it was embracing his head and neck perfectly. His body was relaxed, his mind wasn't trying to find subjects just to stay awake.

He dreamt more than one time that night, but every dream had one thing in common: the blue eyed, blonde haired girl sleeping on the other room right now. He didn't think it was weird, he got used to those dream, since they were pretty frequent. Dreaming about Clarke was a habit and he would never get tired of it, probably.

He would dream about her in a white dress, with a flower behind her ear, her blonde hair curled again and shining as much as the sun. Her wide smile, her deep blue eyes. She was completely glowing, standing out on that view, filled with beautiful unique flowers and a wide river. 

Bellamy would always dream about Clarke on Eden, he could never understand why. But everytime he asked himself that question, his subconscience would remind him that probably his paradise would look like that. 

Bellamy never had many girlfriends. He was picky and the label meant too much for him to just waste it around. So, sure, he did have fun with some girls before, many girls, but it was never that serious.

He thought Gina would change that. He thought Gina would finally make a difference in his life, that she would turn his world upside down. In a way, she sort of did. She did help him, by making him forget all the pain he caused to himself and to others. He was happy with her, but it didn't last much. He blames himself for it. And then he just realized he was better alone, that way he wouldn't hurt anyone, no one would die for him or because of him.

Octavia never left his mind either. The thought of her hating him killed him profoundly. He gave her everything he had and everything he hadn't, he wanted to make her the happiest girl on Earth, he wanted her to have a safe and happy life -- he wanted to give her all the joy he never had for himself. He couldn't handle seeing her down, mourning for Lincoln, grieving and constantly with the hunger for kills. He never thought he would see his little sister like that, and he never thought it would be so hard to support her or understand her.

Soon enough he realized his strength also came from Clarke, she kept him centered. She was wise, the voice of reason, and she was also his safe place, were he could be himself, were he could break down and never be judged for it. 

Losing her so many times just made everything harder. Just made every choice he ever had to make a burden. When he met her, he wasn't ready to depend so much on her, but he ended up doing it anyways without realizing it.

Bellamy wasn't sure what this meant, but he couldn't keep it a secret anymore.

He was determined to tell Clarke.


	17. Chapter 17

Soon enough, the sun rised. The amount of birds flying around was increasing, the little green space they had was growing. Bellamy and Clarke still couldn't believe how fast all this happened. The world getting destroyed, yet one part remaining intact. One green space all for themselves. No wars, no blood, no problems. They can now enjoy Earth in a peaceful way, the way they never got to experience it before.

Clarke was now extracting a part of her blood to a syringe. It wasn't a pleasant feeling, but considering everything she has been through, this pain couldn't ever be compared. It was just a sting, she thought.

''Are you sure about this?'' Bellamy questioned for the fifteenth time this morning. He was unsure about Clarke's idea. It didn't matter how many times she explained it to him, he would always have a million questions passing through his mind.

''Yes, Bellamy.'' She rolled her eyes. Annoyed would be an understatement to explain how she was feeling about all his questions. ''Now sit still.'' She demanded, sending him a glare when he opens his mouth, probably to ask another question.

''But-''

''Do you want to keep coughing blood?''

''No.''

''Then shut up.''

''But-''

''Bellamy! For goodness sake, just sit still and let me do my job! I have other things to do yet I am here, so let's make this quick alright?''

''Someone's in a mood today.'' Bellamy says through his teeth, widening his eyes as he heard the girl speak.

''Yeah well, wouldn't you know.'' She replied.

''What's that supposed to mean- OUCH!'' The former leader lets a little scream slip out of his mouth, as soon as the syringe meets his skin.

''You're such a baby.'' Clarke whispers with a little smile dancing on her lips.

''Oh you find that funny, don't you?'' Bellamy says amused, while a smile also reappears on his lips.

''Yeah well, I didn't think the dreadful, ruthless, Bellamy Blake would ever scream like this over a syringe.''

''Oh c'mon, those were other times.''

''You're right. You're a big softie now.'' Clarke winks. ''Alright, you're done for today. Tomorrow we have to repeat this.''

''I'd rather not. Or the least you could is keep the syringe away.''

''Funny time is over. This is to save you, to prevent you from dying suddenly, so just get over it.'' Clarke answers in a harsh tone.

''I'm so tired of fighting Clarke. Why are you doing this? I just want to make the most of the situation.'' Bellamy confesses annoyed, just like the blonde girl was minutes ago.

''Well, I'm sorry if I don't want to play around with serious business like this. You are dying. That's the truth and we can't make the most of it.''

''Clarke just chill-''

''You probably don't care about dying. Octavia is gone for yet another four years or five, you don't have anyone else here to keep you sane. I get it, I really do. But think about Madi, alright? She has no parents, no family. We're all she's got. And if you die? Well, that's going to suck a whole lot. Stop pretending everything is fine, that everything will be eventually fine, because the truth is...'' Clarke stops for a brief seconds, not daring to look into Bellamy's eyes. ''I'm not sure if my blood can save you, if this will work.''

''Clarke...'' He whispers, realization hitting him hard. He couldn't form words or think rationally anymore. All he wanted to do right now was-

''I have a headache. I'll be back by night.''

And with that, Clarke leaves. Like she always does nowadays.

_______

After telling Madi to not be afraid, that he would be back as soon as he could, he started walking. Bellamy wasn't sure where he was going, but he knew he wanted to find Clarke. Maybe tell her what has been keeping him awake at night. Or not.

_______

Clarke was sitting near a lake, one of the few with clear water, while washing her face. She looked at her reflection and couldn't be more disappointed. She had big bags under her eyes and she was really pale. Clarke felt like a huge part of her just wasn't there anymore, like someone came and ripped it out of her body.

''Finally, I found you.'' Bellamy said relieved, as he sat next to her.

''What are you doing here?'' Clarke abruptly got up, looking at him with an arched eyebrow.

''Sorry for scaring you,'' He got up too. ''I just needed to talk.''

''You didn't scare me.'' She quickly said. ''To talk? So you just left Madi alone?'' She crossed her arms.

''I told her I would be back soon.... and it's not like there's anyone out there. Madi can take care of herself for a few minutes.''

''Still. It was an irresponsible move.'' Clarke argued.

''Just give me some time and I'll run to the camp, alright? It will be like nothing happened, like I never left.''

''Fine.'' She finally agreed, sitting on the floor again. Bellamy repeated her actions.

''Ok, look, I'm sorry. I know my words came out wrong. It's just.... I don't want to be reminded I'm dying, you know? It's not exactly a marvelous thing.''

''I get it-''

''Wait, let me finish.'' Bellamy locked eyes with the beautiful girl in front of him, and had an urge to grab her hand, but didn't. ''Octavia wasn't the only one keeping me sane. You have been doing that for a while now, too...'' A shy smile was formed on his lips. ''I just wanted to clear this up. See you later right?''

''I-''

''Be careful. There might be a huge bear out here.'' He winked and patted her shoulder, getting up and running through the forest.

Clarke had her mouth open not really knowing what just happened, how quickly things escalated, and how she could ever stop the need she had to kiss him as soon as she layed eyes on him again. She shook her head, not wanting to deal with these kind of thoughts right now. It wasn't right.

Bellamy, however, kept cursing while running to the camp. He couldn't understand why he acted so shyly next to her, and why this conversation was so awkward.

''A pat on the shoulder? Seriously, Bellamy?'' He whispered to himself.


	18. Chapter 18

''You like her, don't you?'' Madi questioned.

Bellamy and her were sitting next to the fire, like they always did by night. Clarke wasn't with them, she decided she was too tired to hear another story about their friends -- the so called heroes of most adventures.

''I mean...'' Bellamy just stared at Madi, nothing else came out of his mouth. He was taken aback by her sudden realization.

''I think she likes you too.'' 

''I don't know...'' Bellamy shrugs. ''We never had time to think about it. There was always something. Grounders, commanders, death and war,.. always a problem coming between us.''

''But you and Clarke were in relationships before and it never lasted... it must mean something.''

''They never lasted because everyone died.'' Bellamy replies in a harsh tone. 

''I didn't mean it like that, sorry.'' Madi looks apologetically at him, resting her head on his shoulder.

''Things are too complicated to think about relationships anyway. We need to survive first, lust comes later.'' Bellamy muttered, more to himself than to the girl next to him. But the spoken words didn't make sense to him, at all.

''There aren't threats anymore, Bellamy. I think you should give it a try. Because when the others manage to come down and open the bunker... well, it won't be that peaceful anymore.''

''When did you become so grown up, huh?'' Bellamy ruffles Madi's hair with a wide smile on his face. He felt lucky to have her.

________

ONE YEAR SINCE PRAIMFAYA

Everything was calm. Eden, as Bellamy decided to name the valley, never looked more beautiful. Flowers with each and every color blossoming, birds flying everywhere, bugs and bears and every sort of animal appearing once in a while. The rivers had fishes and everything looked clear, peaceful.

Outside the valley, however, it was a chaos. Sometimes strong winds with sharp metals attacked them. The sand was too hot to walk on it. It wasn't habitable at all. Radiation made sure to never, ever disappear... which could be a problem furthermore.

Bellamy, Clarke and Madi found the rover in the desert -- it felt like Christmas. That is, if they ever celebrated it. Inside there were guns, which Madi begged to start using, but the former leaders didn't think she was ready yet.

The transfusion seemed to work, which was a relief for the three of them. Losing Bellamy wouldn't be a thrill, not when they are so outnumbered, not when the girls care so much for him.

______

''I wish I could be as badass as Skairipa.'' Madi sighs.

''Stand still, Madi.'' Clarke demands annoyed. Madi wouldn't stop moving her head, which wasn't really helpful to Clarke, who was braiding her hair.

''You already are.'' Bellamy answers, while pouring water on the three metal cups.

''You think so?'' Madi widened her eyes.

''I know it.''

Their relationship grew stronger, they were a real family. But despite Madi's comments once in a while, Bellamy and Clarke's status didn't improve. There was so much to be said, yet neither knew how to say it.

But Madi had a plan. 

That would change everything.


	19. Chapter 19

**1 YEAR LATER, 2 YEARS AFTER PRAIMFAYA**

Time passed by, Madi grew up, the former leaders still didn't do anything to make progresses in their relationship. The little girl tried to put them together several times, and although the spark was there and had always been, their heads were a mess. They forgot how to use their hearts.

''The meal is really good Bellamy, mochof (thank you).'' Madi smiled at him, taking one last bite.

''Thank you, Mads. Maybe we can cook together one day,'' Bellamy warmly smiles at the girl and then exchanges a look with Clarke, just for a brief second.

''Yeah...'' Madi pretends to be thinkative. ''Cooking isn't my favorite thing in the world.''

''Alright,'' Bellamy lightly chuckles. ''Suit yourself.''

''Madi, you're doing the dishes today aren't you?'' Clarke asks as she finishes eating.

''If I really have to..'' Madi rolls her eyes and gets up. ''I think some alone time will you do both good,'' She winks as she collects the dishes and goes to the river.

Bellamy and Clarke blankly stare at her, both their eyebrows arched.

''Sometimes I have no idea what goes around her mind.'' Clarke shows a little smile, before getting up.

''She's all grown-up, isn't she?'' Bellamy also gets up.

''Tell me about it.'' The blonde girl proudly rolls her eyes. Having Madi with them was a blessing.

''Can we go for a walk?'' Bellamy suddenly asks. ''I mean, it's not like- I don't know. It's just a walk.''

''I'd like to, yeah.'' After exchanging a warm smile, Bellamy and Clarke start walking to the forest.

''So,... How have you been?''

''Bell, we see each other everyday.''

''I mean, I know, but we don't talk much.''

''Fair point. I guess, I'm good. I miss my mom.''

''I miss Octavia too, a lot actually, but they're safe.''

''Are they, though?''

The former leaders sit in a huge rock, with a sky full of stars above them.

''I miss the others too, you know. Monty, Harper,..''

''Raven, Murphy,..''

''Emori and Echo.'' Bellamy finally completes. ''Grounders in space. I'm still not over that.'' A chuckle slips out of his mouth.

''Can I ask you something?'' Clarke turns her head to look at him, her serious tone is noticeable. Bellamy nods his head. ''If we stayed in the ark, and had a normal life, you know, without being part of The 100 or having a sister,... a normal life. What would you like to be? What would be your aspirations?''

''Oh,'' Bellamy sighs. ''I was definitely not expecting that question. At all.'' He, then, goes quiet for a bit, thinking about it. ''I think I would grow up to be some kind of History nerd, I guess. My mother read a lot of mythology to me. Anciet Rome was my favorite. And I always loved the subject, you know.. I only trained to be a guard so Octavia would have a good life, and my mother too, it was really complicated. I mean, it's so frustrating when you have to grow into an adult when you're like ten years old and- and have to take care of your baby sister while your mother is sleeping with a guard so she doesn't get discovered. It's not exactly a ray of sunshine.''

''I can't say I relate to it or understand, because I really don't. I had my mother, my father, Wells, Jaha and Wells' mother with me, and we were really close and I had a great childhood. I had great teenage years, I never really complained about it because I truly was happy. But then my father made this huge discovery that would make a ridiculous difference in everyone's life... He wanted to tell everyone that we were short on oxygen and that we wouldn't survive much longer on the ark and- I agreed with him. I wanted to help him. I wanted to warn everyone. But my mother didn't want to allow it so she went straight to Jaha and... my father got floated. And from that day on, I don't think I've ever felt truly happy. I mean yes, I felt relieved sometimes, and I felt joy for minutes, but I lost a huge part of me that day. I blamed Wells, but I only discovered my mother was the one doing it hours before Wells died. I- I- I blamed him, for so long, and I truly did hate him for something he didn't do. And then another piece of me was gone. So I don't really understand your situation because I was ... like you said, privileged, but I can relate to messy situations. I was in one. And since we landed on the ground we've been in so many more messy situations... it's crazy.''

Both Bellamy and Clarke's eyes were shining, with a glint of tears forming. Bellamy got closer to her and put his arms around her waist, while Clarke rests her head on his shoulder perfectly. They've never opened up so much, ever, and it felt good. It felt good to finally vent with someone about the past, the ark, before everything else happened.

''I've been wanting to tell you something for a while now, I guess I just never got the opportunity, and I was completely frightened of your reaction and-'' Clarke stops talking and stares at Bellamy, both really confused. Some kind of machine sound was echoing, which was strange. Madi wouldn't take the rover somewhere, would she? They both thought.

''Clarke! Bellamy! I found you.'' Madi runs to them trying to catch her breath. ''A ship just landed near the desert and now they're coming this way. I thought I was dreaming at first but it's really people. Actual people!''

''Do you think....?''

''Raven. She did it.'' Bellamy smiled. Hope filled their eyes.


	20. Chapter 20

Clarke, Bellamy and Madi ran to the ship hopeful to find their friends. But they didn't. They saw a lady in her thirties or fourties, and an army of men. And then... Murphy and Raven show up. Monty and Harper are next. Emori and Echo are behind of them. They have all tape in their mouths and rope around their hands. A shock collar was resting on their necks. 

''Madi you have to hide.'' Clarke quickly says turning to her. They were behind a bush, praying to not be seen.

''But Clarke-''

''She's right. Go to our hiding spot. No one will find you there.'' Bellamy puts a hand on her shoulder. ''We will figure this out,'' He kisses her forehead.

Clarke sadly smiles at them, ''We love you, Madi.''

''Be safe.'' Madi whispers and then runs as fast as she could.

''Bellamy, we don't have guns.'' Clarke speaks after a short silence. She had been living peacefully for two years, she had no idea this would happen so soon. She didn't even know how that army was walking around the forest while the radiation still was so strong. They weren't nightbloods. And Clarke was frightened.

''And there's no way we can defeat them. I think we should-''

''Talk to them?'' 

''Yes. Do you think they'll kill us right away or will have mercy?''

''I mean, they do seem more civilized than the grounders.''

''True.'' Bellamy softly smiles. 

They look at each other one more time and nod, getting up afterwards. The former leaders start walking to the circle of people. They were all breathing the fresh air, as if they hadn't been on the ground for too long.

''We have visits!'' Someone shouts and everyone looks at them, pointing the guns at their faces. 

Clarke and Bellamy raise their hands showing that they meant no harm and look around; their friends weren't there anymore.

''Let them pass.'' The woman speaks and they all open space so they could walk to her. ''What do we have here? Two teenagers caught making out?'' She maliciously smiles, while some background laughs are heard.

''We live here.'' Clarke says, blushing. Maybe if they didn't come down, Bellamy and her would be making out indeed, she thought.

''And we mean no harm.'' Bellamy adds. ''We saw your prisioners, they're our friends.''

''Oh you mean my new two engineers, my spy, my farmer, my fighter and the one that never shuts down?''

''Murphy can be quite annoying with his sarcasm, but yes, those exactly.'' Bellamy affirms. ''Look we have no idea where you came from and we don't even know how you survived praimfaya, but we've been here for two years alone and we built this little village-''

''We have a kid. We really don't want problems and you clearly have the guns, so let's not start an unnecessary war.'' Clarke finishes for him and he silently thanks.

''I'm Charmaine Diyoza. But I'd prefer if you called me just Diyoza.'' The woman introduces herself. ''Let's talk privately, shall we?'' 

_

''I never got your names,'' Diyoza starts. They were in Clarke, Bellamy and Madi's house --now the oficial meeting room for the woman.

''I'm Clarke and that's Bellamy. Our kid is hidden. We thought you would harm us right away, to be completely honest.''

''Look, I get your point. But in front of those guys I have to seem tough. But between us three,'' Diyoza caresses her belly. ''I also wouldn't want a war that could put my kid in danger.''

Clarke and Bellamy both look at each other, their wide eyes showing shock. It was rare to see a pregnant woman commanding an army. In fact, this was the first time they ever saw one.

''We could help each other out. You could protect our lives and we would help you adjust here, show you how things work. Please.'' Clarke begs.

''And Clarke's a doctor. You probably need one, because of... you know.'' Bellamy looks at her belly.

''You're a doctor?'' Diyoza raises her eyebrow examining Clarke. ''You're so young.''

''Well, I'm not actually a doctor. My mother is, I learnt everything I know with her. And then we were sent to the ground and I had to use every knowledge I had-''

''She saved many lives.'' Bellamy completes.

''Sent to the ground?''

''It's a long story....''

And so Bellamy and Clarke told Diyoza everything. Since Clarke's father's discovery, and Bellamy hiding his sister, to shooting the chancellor to get into the dropship, to being sent to the ground for being a deliquent with less than eighteen years. Mount Weather, the grounders and reapers, the crazy commanders and their devotion to them, blood must have blood, to the chips and flames and even nightbloods.... to praimfaya. That day, Charmaine Diyoza learnt a new part of the humanity's history. A part she never had knowledge before because she had been in cryo.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> uhh I know the characters are way too soft here, but I'm done with stupid wars. s5 was tough enough


	21. Chapter 21

Three weeks passed. Diyoza, Clarke and Bellamy decided to share the valley and not hurt each other. Murphy, Raven, Echo, Emori, Harper and Monty weren't prisioners anymore. Everyone, especially the eligius team, have been building new houses. Clarke and Madi taught them how to hunt in the river or in the woods and Bellamy taught them how to cook and prepare the meal. 

Madi, Clarke and Bellamy were relieved. They finally had more company and their days were more interesting now. Madi also had the opportunity to meet the heroes from the stories she fell asleep every night, but she also realized how different they were now. Two years changed a lot of things between them.

 

**FLASHBACK > TWO WEEKS AGO**

_Bellamy and Murphy went on a walk to see if they could find any remainings of metal to use in the valley. As it was getting late, they grabbed in some wood and made a fire.  They were just talking about random things, trying to catch up._

_''You're pretty much a father now. You were always overprotective of Octavia, but now you have a daughter.... wow.'' Murphy shakes his head._

_''Let's say I'm more her guardian than father. That makes me sound really old.'' Bellamy lightly chuckles and also shakes his head. ''But she's great, you know? And she also reminds me so much of Octavia. It helps with the ache I have everyday, for missing her too much.''_

_''In three years you'll be reunited again. Keep positive thoughts, man.'' Murphy pats on his shoulder._

_''I still don't understand how you're immune to the radiation, though. Diyoza didn't explain that.''_

_''I honestly don't know as well. When they took us hostage, they used some kind of syringe and last thing I knew, I was on the ground again.''_

_''It was probably nightblood or something similar to it.'' Murphy adds._

_''Yeah. Maybe. Anyways, was it fun up there? I bet you spent all your time with Emori.''_

_''Not really.'' Murphy affirms, looking away. ''I broke up with her some months after we got there.''_

_''Oh.'' Bellamy seems taken aback. He knew how much Emori meant to him. ''Did you fell out of love?''_

_''I just realized that before I love someone else, I have to love and accept myself first.''_

******END OF FLASHBACK 1**

 

Madi realized how soft Murphy turned out to be, he wasn't that angsty, sarcastic kid anymore. Raven didn't seem broken. She looked healthy and happy, with no bags under her eyes and as if her leg wasn't a burden anymore. Emori accepted her body and didn't wear a glove anymore. Harper and Monty also changed. A lot.

 

**FLASHBACK > THREE WEEKS AGO (after the agreement with Diyoza)**

_''This is Madi. We met her some weeks after praimfaya and we're kind of her guardians.'' Clarke says, with a hand around Madi's shoulder. ''She heard so much about every and each one of you guys.''_

_''It's really nice to meet you, Madi.'' Raven lowers down to look her in the eyes and quickly pulls her in for a hug._

_Soon enough, they're all hugging and greeting each other. When Clarke hugs Harper she feels a little kick against her belly. She pulls away and looks at Harper._

_''What...''_

_''Surprise!'' Harper shrugs with a wide smile on her face. Then she steps back and puts her hand on her belly, while Monty puts his arm around her waist. ''We're pregnant!''_

_This was also a surprise for the others. Harper and Monty kept it a secret for some time and when they thought that it was the right time to tell them, the eligius crew kidnapped them, so the opportunity just slipped away. But now that everyone knew, they were hugging again. It felt like a beautiful dream, endless happiness._

 

**END OF FLASHBACK 2**

 

''I don't know man. I think I like her.''

''Then you should tell her.''

''I'm scared.''

''Just go for it. I have your back. Even if she rejects you,... I mean, at least you'll be able to move on properly.''

''But-''

''Murphy, for real. Look, I know you're scared because you think that Raven is still mad at you... but it was more than two years ago. She knows you didn't mean to hurt her, she knows you didn't do it on purpose. I've seen you interact for the past weeks, you've grown really close together and I think you should just go for it.''

''I just--'' Murphy sighs. ''I don't think I'm good enough for her. And she's friends with Emori, I just don't want-''

''Go tell Emori first, then. Tell her that you can't control this feeling and she will understand it. It's not your fault you're having a crush or something. You didn't break up with Emori because of Raven, you broke up with her because you didn't feel like you could love her like she deserved to be loved. It's been more than a year, anyways. She will find love again and you will find love again and that's just how the world works.''

''Okay,'' Murphy breathes in. ''You're right. I'm going to do it now, before I lose all my courage. See you later,''

_______

''So you're telling me that you and Bellamy never...''

''No.''

''But you were alone with him.. And now you have Madi, but still,...''

''I know Raven.'' Clarke says disappointed. ''I don't think he feels the same way.''

''How are you sure, though?'' Raven questions as if she was certain it wasn't true.

''He never said anything or did anything to make progress. A year ago I was having all these thoughts about him and I, together, but I was scared so I kind of just tried to shrug the feelings away but now... Well now I really want it. And it's even more clear that he doesn't care for me. He's always hanging with Emori now and when we talk, he just complains about Echo.''

''I'm sure he doesn't mean to. You know Bellamy, he always knows what to say when the situation's not with him. When he is involved, he also gets speechless and nervous and avoids having serious conversations.''

''That's true. You're right.'' Clarke seems thinkative. ''Oh, and I haven't even told you the juicy part.''

''Juicy part?'' Raven widens her eyes. ''What- Did you-''

''I have no idea,'' Clarke confesses. ''I just know that one day Madi prepared a meal for us and she left, so we stayed up late talking and the next thing I remember is to wake up half naked and cuddling him. He doesn't remember anything either so maybe we just drank a lot and forgot about it, but the weird thing about it, is that I don't remember drinking. It was water for sure. I mean, we don't even have strong drinks like they had in Polis.''

''Well, that's surely weird. Maybe... What about jobi nuts?''

''What? I don't think so. We told Madi to stay away from- Oh God. No wonder Madi tried to leave everytime we had dinner.'' Clarke sighs heavily and rests her head on her hands. ''I'm so dumb. I ruined everything.''

''Do you think Madi did it?''

''Raven, I am SURE Madi put jobi nuts there. And we didn't sleep together, maybe we just were delusional, which happens with these nuts and- I can't believe how stupid I've been. All this time... I have to fix this.''

''What do you mean, fix this?''

''I told Bellamy we shouldn't talk about it again. It was better if we backed off for a while, because if we really had sex it would've been awkward and we shouldn't ruin things. We have Madi, she's a child, and... I shouldn't have jumped to that conclusion so quickly.''

''Clarke...'' Raven also looks disappointed at her. ''Go, see if this can be saveable.'' She grabs Clarke's hand and drags her outside the room they were in.

''I'll tell you everything later!'' Clarke shouts before running to where Bellamy was currently. ''Oh, sorry Murphy, didn't see you there,'' She quickly apologizes as she bumps into him. Looks like he's going to talk with Raven.

________

**a little cliffhanger. let's see what happens between bellarke and murven :)**


	22. Chapter 22

Clarke entered Bellamy's room. He was sitting on his bed, staring at a drawing she made him over a year and a half ago. On the draw, Bellamy and Madi were cooking together with a joyful smile dancing on their lips.

''Hey,'' Clarke greeted softly and she sits next to him.

''Hey,'' He answers equally softly, glancing at her.

''It's funny you have that drawing in your hand you know, I came here to talk about, well, Madi and cooking..''

''How come?'' Bellamy put the drawing in his box. 

In that box he kept every draw Clarke ever made. She wanted to throw them away, she was always uncertain about them. Clarke thought her drawings needed more improvement,  _always._ But Bellamy saw beauty in them, how she captured the essence of the person she drew, or the details of the background. So one day he showed up with a wooden box, made by himself, and told her she wouldn't get the chance to throw any more of her draws away.

''Remember when we... well, we thought we.. Slept together?'' Bellamy nods, wanting her to continue. ''We didn't. We probably didn't even get close to it. Madi put jobi nuts in our food and it probably made us go a little-- crazy.''

''We really didn't?'' A relieved smile rested on Bellamy's lips, but he was still confused.

''I don't think so. We don't remember anything from that night and we weren't drinking,..''

''Oh, that's so good.'' Bellamy finally sighed in relief. Clarke arched her eyebrow. She didn't know how his reaction would be, but she wasn't also expecting this.

''Even if we did sleep together, would it be so wrong?'' Clarke suddenly gets up. ''If I didn't tell you this right now, would you have looked at me everyday and still regret it? Regret sleeping with me?''

''I mean,'' Bellamy also gets up and rests his back on the wall. ''I think I would, to be honest,-''

''You're unbelievable.'' The blonde girl whispers, feeling both ashamed and betrayed.

''Clarke it's not-''

''Am I an embarrassment? Or did you have feelings for someone else all this time?''

''Clarke!'' Bellamy rolls his eyes and walks to her, putting a hand on her shoulder. ''Hey, look at me,'' He whispers and grabs her chin lifting it slightly up. ''You're not an embarrassment. But yes, I would have regretted sleeping with you and not remembering anything at all.'' Clarke doesn't say anything, so Bellamy takes the initiative to continue. ''You have no idea how relieved I am. Because now, if we ever get the chance to even kiss, I'll make sure to not drink or consume jobi nuts... I want to remember everything, Clarke. I want to have memories of every moment with you. And you know why?'' He voice lowers down, as he get closer to her. ''Because I really, really like you. I've liked you for so long, dammit.'' Bellamy slightly chuckles, never breaking their eye contact. ''And I have no idea how I'm getting the courage to tell you all of this right now, but I'm glad this... my feelings.. are finally out there. And I don't expect you to say anything or feel anything you don't feel, your friendship is also important to me and I don't want to lose you over some stupid crush- although it doesn't feel like a stupid crush anymore. Not to me, anyways. And I'm talking too much, so maybe-''

''Bellamy Blake, are you under the effect of jobi nuts?'' Clarke suddenly asks.

''No..''

''Good.'' She instantly grins at him. ''Because I really, really,  _really_ , like you too. I wouldn't want you to forget this.'' Clarke puts her arms around his neck and, standing on tiptoes, her lips caress Bellamy's softly. 

He immediately rests his hands on her waist and crashes his lips into hers, starting a soft, slow kiss. But Clarke couldn't wait any longer, she needed more, so much more. Pressing her body into his, Bellamy lets a soft groan escape from his mouth and he deepens the kiss, with a fervent urgent he never had before. Clarke's tongue slips inside his mouth and eventually Bellamy loses control of his body, falling right on his bed, with Clarke on top of him. 

She chuckles lightly, gazing at his brown eyes. ''I'm done hiding my feelings. I feel like we have so much potential, together,.. I don't want to spend another day without being able to kiss you. I want this closeness, I want...  _you_.''

Bellamy gulped, he felt exactly like that. He didn't say it outloud, though. He simply leaned in and kissed her hard, being on top this time. 

**[in the meanwhile]**

''Can I come in?'' Murphy softly knocked on the door, opening right after.

''You're already in.'' Raven joked. ''What's up?''

''The ark. Kind of.'' 

''Really funny.'' She rolls her eyes.

''I try, Reyes.''

''What's really up, though? Or did you just come here to throw jokes at me, like always?''

''I've been talking with Bellamy...'' Murphy starts and sits on the chair, yet doesn't continue.

''Wait, is this about Bellamy and Clarke?'' Suddenly she gets excited. ''Because I've been talking to Clarke and she's right now telling-''

''Wait, what?''

''Clarke and Bellamy like each other. You came here to talk about that right?''

''Oh, yes. Totally.'' He fakes a smile, not feeling so courageous after all.

________________

**bellarke happened? murven is maybe a no-no? how are we feeling about his?**


	23. Chapter 23

Bellamy and Clarke spent the rest of the day talking, in a low voice, about everything and anything at all. Soft laughs escaped from time to time, and smiles were constantly showing up on their faces. 

''I never thought we would ever be like this,'' Bellamy kisses every inch of her face slowly, burying his face in her neck afterwards. ''I never thought you would ever see me like that.''

''Well, what can I say?'' Clarke caresses his back drawing invisible circles. ''You've charmed me, Bellamy Blake.'' He leans in and joins their lips once more, with a long-lasting grin.

''It almost hurts me to say this, but we have to get up.'' 

''You're right.'' Clarke nods. ''Let's just stay for a few for minutes, okay?''

_

 

Murphy slaps himself, breathes in and finally feels prepared to knock on her door once more. 

''Murphy,'' Raven opens before he had the chance to actually knock. ''Everything alright?''

''Yes. I just need to-'' He takes time to analyze her and gulps. She had her hair down, for the first time ever, and she looked really good. ''Nice look.'' His eyes widen as the words escape from his mouth. 

''Thanks,'' She laughs amused. ''I'm actually in a hurry, but what do you need?''

''Oh. Is everything okay?''

''Yes, Shaw is just going to show me around.'' As she mentions his name, she shyly smiles.

''Let's talk later then.'' He forces a smile and leaves quickly, while Raven furrows her eyebrow.

_

''Man, everything alright?'' Monty sits next to Murphy. 

''Love is fucking great. Just fucking great.'' He had clearly been drinking... heavily. 

''Let's slow down.'' Monty calmly grabs his alcohol metal can. ''What happened?''

''That happened.'' He mutters pointing straight to Raven and Shaw, who where on the other side of the camp laughing and joking around. 

''Are you jealous?'' Monty smiles. ''That's cute.''

''I'm not jealous.'' He speaks loud in a high-pitched voice. ''I don't care about her or that she let her hair down or that she's smiling widely at him, like she has never smiled before. I don't care about that crap, I'm okay, I'm good.''

''It's okay to be jealous, Murphy. It really is. We've spent six years on the ring, it's normal to start caring about each other and eventually get jealous.''

''It's not like that.'' He shrugs away. ''I think...'' Murphy turns to Monty. ''I might love her.'' After the sudden realization, he gets up. ''I've got to go.'' 

Murphy runs to Raven and Shaw. ''Raven!'' 

''He- Murphy- Are you drunk?''

''Raven I need to talk to you.''

''But-''

''Please.''

''Alright... Shaw I'll be here in a sec.''

_

''Ready to face reality?'' Clarke questions as she grabs her shirt from the floor. 

''As long as I'm next to you...'' He answers, hugging her from behind. ''I'm even ready to fight 500 grounders alone.'' Bellamy plants a kiss on her neck, spinning Clarke to him afterwards, and they share another kiss.

''Stop being so irresistible.'' She grins. ''We've been here for hours and if you keep kissing me like that I don't think I can leave. Like, ever.''

''Then don't.'' He wiggles his eyebrows.

''Stop,'' She rolls her eyes and pushes him gently, chuckling. ''Let's go.''

_

''Care to explain me why you reek and are acting all crazy?''

''Raven, I like you. There. I said it. I was supposed to say it to you earlier but I lost the courage and then I saw you with your hair down- You must really like Shaw. You probably like Shaw the same way I like you. It's okay. I just needed to clear this out.'' Murphy stops to catch his breath. ''I'll probably regret this later. The booze is talking louder, though. And now you know how I feel, so the ball is in your court. I don't know why I said this, I don't even know what it means. Anyways...''

''Murphy-''

''Have the rest of a good night, Reyes.'' He shyly smiles and leaves, leaving Raven confused, once more. 

___


	24. Chapter 24

Bellamy was so happy his heart could burst out of his chest and explode in tiny pieces. It had been six years since praimfaya, which meant it was safe again for Octavia and the rest to come out. He missed her very much, and never thought he could ever wait so long to see his sister again. Sure, they fought a lot once they came to the ground. Things got complicated with the grounders, Lincoln, Mount Weather... But Octavia was his sister, and Bellamy was sure they could put that in the past. All he wanted now was to hug her.

''Let's do this, shall we gentlemen?'' Diyoza spoke with a small smile on her lips.

During the past years, they got to get to know Diyoza and her crew better. They were all criminals, and that's a pure fact, and some were creepy most of the times, but some also had good in them. Diyoza was one of those people. She used sarcam and fought like a badass, but she did have a soft heart. She ended up being very fond of Madi, sometimes even wanting for her child to become as sweet as her.

''Dumb grounders... can't believe we have to meet again.'' Murphy muttered.

The truth is, John Murphy never believed in their culture. He thought it was idiotic to follow a child with a chip stuck in her head that made her/him see dead people, but he couldn't do anything about it. He wasn't excited for it either, since all they want is to kill and to hurt, most of the times. But he also had friends down there... deliquent fellows, young men and women that once were with him whilst getting to the ground for the first time.

''Raven..'' Zeke tried to grab Raven's hand, but she quickly shrugged it away. 

''No, Zeke. I'm tired of this.'' 

The truth is, Raven and Zeke were perfect for each other. They had been perfect for each other for a while. But another truth is... they were too perfect, they were too similar. It is good to have things in common, but these too were stubborn. After dating for two years, Raven realized the all the love wasn't as present anymore. She didn't feel stupidly in love anymore, she didn't feel as goofy and glowing as before. His lips touching hers didn't make her feel like they were alone in the world without a worry anymore. She'd always care for him, but right now that wasn't enough for her.

''Ready?'' Clarke kissed Bellamy's hand, offering him a warm smile.

''I'm finally going to be surrounded by my entire family again, with all my girls together. I can't wait for Octavia to meet our Madi.'' Bellamy and Clarke shared one last kiss before Diyoza's men started to open the bunker.

Clarke and Bellamy had been unseparable. They were the sun and the moon, the day and the night. They were opposite souls, yet completed each other tirelessly. Kissing each other felt different every time their lips collided, the way their bodies moved in sync was still fascinating for both of them. They wouldn't always agree on everything, but their passion would never fade away. 

(...)

''Bellamy, do you want to go first?'' Diyoza asked. They were using ropes to get down the bunker so they could talk with the others down there.

''Yes, thank you.'' Bellamy nodded. He breathed in and out as they attached the rope to him, so he wouldn't fall, and thought about Octavia. How was she doing? Did she change much? Is she even alive?

Suddenly he felt nervous. What if Octavia was still mad at him? What if they could never go back to being normal siblings again? What if-

''Bell?'' 

His thoughts, his fears, everything washed away. Bellamy finally reached the ground and quickly untied himself from the rope. His sister, the person he loved very dearly, was in front of him. She had bags under her eyes, her forehead had red paint all over it, her hair was more black, more greasy. But that didn't matter. At all. It was his little sister, and right now he just wanted to hug her.

So he did. He walked to her and wrapped his arms around her. ''I missed you so much, O.'' He kissed the top of her head, tears rolling down his cheeks.

''I knew you would come, big brother.'' 

Octavia didn't have it easy during all those years. Keeping all the clans together wasn't a piece of cake. They started calling her blodreina, the red queen. But...  _that_?

 _That_ is a story for another time.

**THE END**

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm writing an epilogue soon ;)


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